“Your purpose needs to move you past your goals and into a pure, inner drive and passion. That’s when it becomes a lifelong love affair you’re not willing to live without.”  

“I LOVE YOU!” Aww, such powerful and wonderful words that most of us desire and absolutely love to hear. I believe the desire for and the pursuit of love, of happiness, of inner fulfillment is one of the most natural instincts we possess. We all desire to feel supported, important, protected, cared for, and accepted. We matter and long for others to affirm that we do.

And there’s nothing wrong with receiving the “right” affirmations or encouragement from others. In fact, we must have proper connections with the “right” people to fulfill our purpose. And sometimes a little “you’ve got this” or “great job – keep up the good work” or “I’m proud of you” can go a long way in helping us stay focused and on track.

But as much as we love to hear it from others, here’s a question. “When was the last time you said it to yourself? When was your last self-encouragement conversation? When was the last time YOU loved on YOU?” As special as the “I Love You” words are from others, it’s more important to actually give them to yourself. Now I’m not talking about being narcissistic, prideful or arrogant. I’m talking about embracing who you are, your uniqueness, your talents, your strengths, your triumphs, your purpose, yourself. If we are not able to TRULY accept, approve, and love all of who we are, we will be ineffective in obtaining real success.

Leaders, we must see our purpose (the reason we exist) as intertwined with the essence of who we really are. We cannot be separated from it. Thus, to love me is to love why I was created. To love me is to love what I was created to accomplish. To love me is to love everything I do that aligns with my purpose. So, how can I best promote something I don’t love, believe in or am not passionate about? If I don’t love me, I’ve conceded to self-defeat and agreed to my own diminished outcomes. I have ultimately settled for less than the success I was intended to experience.

Let’s for a moment parallel our purpose with having a cute little baby. In doing so, a few things come to mind:

• You love your baby (purpose) even before s/he is born
• You always desire to protect and provide the best for your baby (purpose)
• Your baby (purpose) needs you so s/he can not just live but thrive
• You are willing to make sacrifices for your baby (purpose)
• No one else will ever be able to love your baby (purpose) more than you do
• You’re in love with her/him simply because it’s your baby (purpose)

Sound about right? Your baby is precious and special to you simple because s/he is yours. And you love her/him with a love like no other. Shouldn’t it be the same with you and your purpose? It’s your “baby” and if you don’t love, nurture, protect, and help your baby (purpose) thrive, who will?

Leaders, we can only give others what we possess and a healthy self-love yields a health love for others. As frontrunners, we are responsible to help others birth and care for their own babies. And the best way to do so, is by living a good example. And good parenting speaks volumes in actions more than in words.

Clears throat, looks squarely in the mirror, inserting your name here: “_________, I love you! Yes, you. I love me some me and what I was created to do and be!” Say it until you believe it. Cuddle up with your purpose, get to really know it. Take inventory of who you are and all you possess (i.e., strengths, talents, etc.). Don’t compare your baby to anyone else’s – yours is unique and one-of-a-kind. Love it for what it is – it’s a part and essence of who you are. And loving you means loving it.

So, let me encourage you to develop and/or improve your love of YOU. After all, your purpose and success rely on it.

© 2016 Kassandra McGhee